View from the Balcony: a director, performer, and participant's perspective of the Alumni Dance Retreat 2010

This was a special edition of the Principia Alumni Dance newsletter, Back at the Barre (Issue #6 - 9/1/10).  It chronicled the Alumni Dance Retreat and Production 2010 from the view of its producer and director, Emily Ward (C'08).
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Believe it or not, I have been attempting to write this issue of Back at the Barre for over two months.  And yet, every time I have tried, I have been completely overwhelmed at trying to capture the Alumni Dance Retreat and Production 2010 into a simple article.

Those of you who attended probably know exactly what I’ve been struggling with.  While most of us weren’t sure what a “first-ever dance intensive” on the Principia College campus would entail, none of us were prepared for such a powerful, inspirational, and joyful week.  In fact, these are a few of the comments I captured from our last metaphysical meeting before the official Alumni Dance Production on Saturday, June 26th:

“When I left Prin twenty years ago, I though my days of dancing at Prin were over.  I’m so grateful to have been here.”

• “My goal at the beginning of the summer was to see myself out of my comfort zone and I have!”
• “To be a part of a dance production at my age is so wonderful.”
• “Three years ago, I lost all mobility.  To be here dancing is amazing.”
• “I haven’t felt this special in a long time.  Thanks you for loving me so much.”

Thirty minutes later, the lights went up on forty years of Principia dancers, performing together on stage.  They shared their love for Principia, dance, and one another in a fully-staged and costumed one-and-a-half hour dance show featuring original choreography by fellow Principian alums, all to a delighted full house of Alumni Reunion attendees.

How do you capture the incredible range of activities, the wide sweep of emotions, and the tremendous depth of friendships that sprung up – all in an email newsletter?  The answer seems be a blog-style journal, chronicling my adventures during the week.  While I admit it’s a little long (well, far longer than I intended it to be), I hope it gives you a chance to experience for yourself what the Alumni Dance Retreat and Production were all about...

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Sunday, June 20th - Day 1

I’m sitting in the Dining Room in Howard Center, trying not to stare at the twenty-five unfamiliar faces around me.  A few have been emailing with me for the past few months, so I know a little about them, but the rest of the group is completely foreign to me.  What are their backgrounds?  Where are they from?  And what kind of dance have they done?

I know that six days from now, we’ll be putting on a show - with choreography the directors have not seen, dancers the choreographers don’t know, and styles many of the dancers have never tried!  Will it work?  Will anyone come see it?  Will we even survive the week’s physical demands of dancing for hours on end?

To say I’m a little nervous is an understatement.

But suddenly my legs have moved of their own accord, and now I’m standing in front of everyone, gripping the ubiquitous legal pad that will live in my bag next to my character heels and ballet shoes for the rest of the week.  Glancing at it, I start at the beginning.

After explaining the schedule and several other necessary items (i.e., drink water!) I decide to skip whatever structure I had hoped for.  Turning to the first person to my left, I ask her to share a little information about her life: where she’s from, what she does, and what type of experiences she’s had with dance.

Over the next hour and a half, I keep having to discretely lift my jaw off of the table.  As we go around the room, I’m overwhelmed with the illustrious careers and characters of the men and women who have chosen to attend this Retreat:  from a former U.S. Coordinator of the Global Initiative to Combat Nuclear Terrorism who has a love of swing dancing, to a Broadway triple threat that now owns her own repertory musical theatre company in Santa Fe, to a humble, softspoken musician and dad that has never danced at all…the list goes on and on.  We have a Javanese dancer, the wife of a diplomat who just moved back from South America four days ago, and even a 2005 semi-finalist from the popular TV show, So You Think You Can Dance.

After the discussion, I take everyone on a tour of the campus facilities we will be using (the Blackbox, Morey Field House, and the new Hay Field House studios). Then I follow the slow trickle of dancers back to the dorms to relax and prepare for the week ahead.

As I climb the gentle slope towards Brooks House, I realize that there’s a kernel of confidence in the pit of my stomach – we might actually pull this crazy idea off!  It sends me back to my room with a grin.

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Monday, June 21st - Day 2

It’s 9 am, and all I can hear is “Creak! Pop!”  Oh yeah, that’s what ballet feels like. Despite the uncomfortable sensation of pulling my stomach in and lifting my chest up, I relish being back at the barre.  I really have missed it!  Old habits kick in fast: search for what I can pick up (and embody) from the more advanced dancers, stretch at every possible moment, and crack my toes after each exercise. The 50 minutes is over before I know it.

At right, Ballet with Jennifer Francis Bitto

By noon, I am quite ready for lunch.  Three dance classes in a row mean tired feet and a healthy appetite!  I’m also excited to hear today’s lunchtime seminar: “Dance Performance,” featuring remarks from professional dancers Brittany Maxwell Hopkins, Kristie Hannum Karsen, Ruth Doering, and Holly Derville-Teer.

I’m far from disappointed.  From hearing Brittany talk about dancing as a Delta faucet (seriously) to Ruth’s admission that she never lost an audition (who has that kind of career?!), it’s an eye-opening, hang-on-every-word experience. Unfortunately, I’ll have to leave it at that, since to share it all would fill an entire issue!  But don’t worry – we’ll save another issue just for that!

At left, Hopkins and Doering

Then it’s an afternoon of three more dance classes and my first rehearsal for theProduction.  By dinner, I feel like it’s been three days, rather than a mere ten hours. We listen to a deliciously enthusiastic Bob Rockabrand share an abbreviated version of his “Something to Dance About!” Reunion talk, including video clips and short histories of famous dancers from stage and screen. Then it’s off to the Blackbox Theatre for our first full group rehearsal for the Alumni Dance Production.

At right, Zumba with Karen Parker Craig

Before beginning, the group assembles in a circle on the floor, some sitting in chairs, others lying on the floor, others sitting Indian-style, (which always reminds me of kindergarten).  I’ve prepared some brief inspirational readings, after which the rest of the time is opened to anyone who wishes to share. 

I can tell that for many of the Retreaters, this is a little unusual.  However, my favorite memories of Dance Productions as a student were the half-hour (and sometimes longer) metaphysicals that opened every rehearsal and every show. They unified the group in a way that nothing else could.  And slowly, people begin to speak up, sharing a thought from their morning study or simple gratitude for just being able to attend the Retreat. 

It’s neat to hear where everyone is after a day of dance.  Yep, many are tired, but that doesn’t seem to be enough to stifle the smiles—everyone is excited to see the dances!

No one, however, is as excited as me.  Apart from one rather blurry YouTube clip, I haven’t seen one piece of choreography.  It is an odd feeling, preparing to co-direct a show about which you have no information.

So we start.  There’s no order, just choreographers standing and sharing what they have.  Many dancers have already learned four or five phrases, and so when they can, they perform what they picked up in the short 50-minute class that day.

I’m impressed.  Somehow, it’s an incredibly diverse set of dances.  Fast, slow, dramatic, lighthearted, touching, and historic – I silently share my gratitude for such a strong beginning of this five-day rehearsal process.

At left, Hopkins in the solo piece "Forgive Me"

By 9:30, all of the dances have been presented, albeit in their infant stage, and so I release everyone and remind them to please get sleep and drink water.  In truth, mostly I’m trying to remind myself. 

Of course, I don’t follow my own instructions, and so it’s not until 1 or 2 in the morning that I drag my tired feet into bed.  But it’s not without results – the first round of costume possibilities sit in the Blackbox Theatre, waiting for Tuesday night’s rehearsal.  Day One is over – but the work and the fun have only just begun.

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Tuesday June 22nd - Day 3

It’s 10:35ish, and we’re nearing the end of our second class in Morey.  Jump, leap, pant for breath and then go back the other way doing it all over again.  It’s exhilarating.

Suddenly, there’s a dancer on the floor.  We all realize pretty quickly that it’s an ankle.  And yet, in the midst of concern for her, I find myself nearing tears not of sadness but of joy.  It’s because I can feel every dancer in the room praying. 

When an injury arises in most classes, there’s an instantaneous hush of pity and fear.  You can almost feel the thoughts of “What bad luck,” “She’s out for weeks,” or “That could have been me.”  Everyone clears away and the dancer leaves the room in anguish and sorrow.

In sharp contrast to that scene is the Prin approach to dance injuries.  There’s a respectful quiet but the atmosphere is filled with Love rather than pity.  Everyone reaches out in prayer to support the dancer, themselves, and the class.  A few other dancers may join the teacher in sitting with or talking with the dancer, but everyone is nearby, supporting the situation prayerfully.  The room has a warm tenderness that envelops all.  Most dancers dealing with an injury remain in the class, observing and praying on the side. 

I remember it well from my days as a student, and I also remember the many wonderful healings and demonstrations that accompanied those challenges among my friends and fellow dancers. 

Yet, even in the few years I’ve been in the “real world”, I’ve forgotten that alternative approach.  To be here, surrounded by so many dancers who react the same way I do, is in some ways startling!  But this is one of Prin’s greatest gifts to its dancers: to approach such a demanding art form through Love.

The Christian Science nurse arrives on the scene very quickly, and the dancer is cared for.  Class continues, but I can feel that we will all keep this dancer close in our thoughts.

After another hour of class, lunch brings with it another wonderful seminar: Careersin Dance (other than Performance), with speakers Holly Derville-Teer (former dance studio owner), Kristie Hannum Karsen (owner/producer/director of a regional musical theatre repertory company), Caitlin Highton Hoffman (dance teacher), and Christine Dunbar (former choreographer for musical superstars).  It’s very inspiring to see the many ways in which you can work in the dance world even without performing! 

At left, Caitlin Highton Hoffman before ballet class

The afternoon is full of classes, workshops, and rehearsals.  Dinner comes and goes quickly and suddenly it’s technical rehearsal #2!

At right, tap with Kristie Hannum Karsen

We open with a metaphysical once again.  Already, everyone is a little more relaxed.  Many more dancers speak up to offer inspiration, appreciation, and discoveries that have occurred in the past two days.  We close by standing and singing a hymn, and the sound of so many voices blending into the immense space of the Blackbox is certainly inspiring.

A tentative order for the show is announced, and so we begin rehearsing each number in order.  I’m pretty impressed with how far so many of the dances have come.  Although most everyone has a slightly terrified expression on their face, they have a substantial part of the choreography learned.  Hallelujah!

After each piece is performed, the choreographer and I talk costumes.  Some things work great!  Others are not quite right, and several are far less appealing than they seemed on the hangers.  I take copious notes and place the costumes that worked on a separate rack.  There’s plenty of work to be done tonight on that front, but by the time I get to bed, it’s with satisfaction that the show is definitely taking shape.

At left, one costume that did work, on Brittany Maxwell Hopkins

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Wednesday June 23rd - Day 4

I admit that by this morning, fatigue starts to hit hard.  Many technical elements are still unclear (what kind of lights are we going to have?!), and I know full well that I should be getting to sleep earlier.  Hopefully after tonight, most of the costume issues will be resolved and I will be able to go to bed at a semi-reasonable hour.

While I feel bad for having to skip a couple of my favorite classes that morning, Iam grateful to notice that most everyone has figured out a schedule that works for them.  Some Retreaters are going to just one class a day, while those who were taking every class they could are now taking one or two hours off during the day.  Some attendees attend class with camera in hand and play photographer instead of dancer.  But everyone has recognized the importance of a good break!

Above left, ShimSham Rehearsal / Warm-Up with Paul Paradis

The enthusiasm among the Retreaters hasn’t dimmed, however.  Of course, there’s consternation about the Production (“I just don’t know how we’ll know all the choreography by tonight!”), but since we directors have asked all of the choreography to be learned before tonight’s rehearsal, I am not surprised.  The goal isn’t to be perfect but rather to spend the next two days being able to clean the dances, rather than trying to cram the choreography.

The lunchtime seminar today is absolutely fantastic.  “Dance at Principia: Past, Present, & Future” features segments from: Christine Dunbar (former faculty andlongtime champion of Dance at Principia) about the past programs of Principia dancers; Chrissy Calkins Steele (a current faculty member of the Department of Theatre and Dance) about the current department’s programs and achievements; and Clay Jackson in the Development Office about the potential possibilities for the Department of Theatre & Dance.

Above right, Dunbar (2nd from left) with (from left) Maxine Sander, Adrienne Sandidge Hill, Chrissie Brown, and Hera Gerber

Highlights included:

-  Realizing that Dance at Prin started in the 1930s!
-  A video from Hilary Harper-Wilcoxen, Chair of the Department of Theatre & Dance, welcoming back dance alums (previously shown in 2006)
-  Seeing a slideshow of pictures from the last 3 years of student Dance Productions
-  Learning about the close relationship Principia’s dance program has with the Antony Tudor Trust, including recent performances of Tudor’s ballet “Little Improvisations” by Principia student dancers
-  A discussion of the Dunbar Endowed FUND FOR DANCE established to specifically support Principia’s dance programs (donations always welcome and directly support the students)
-  Talking about the possibility of Morey Field House (right) being renovated into a Performing Arts Center (useable by both students and alums)

Classes fly by that afternoon.  Dinner is over before I know it. And we’re back in the Blackbox, holding our metaphysical before rehearsal begins.

To see how far the dances have come is incredibly humbling.  I am amazed at the selfless devotion of these alums, some of whom have never been in any sort of dance production at Prin or elsewhere.  And yet, everyone throws their complete energy into each dance, fueled by their individual yet collective love for dancing. 

After the rehearsal is over and we’re going through notes, several choreographers ask if they could hold extra rehearsals tomorrow.  Quite a few dancers chime in with their support for the idea, and as I write down the flurry of requests and needs, I quickly realize that our regular schedule is going to have to be changed. “I’ll post a brand new schedule around the studios tomorrow,” I promise.

Now, the schedule had been the most time-consuming part of our pre-Retreat planning.  We had worked through more than 10 different versions, attempting to accommodate the multiple levels and desires of the attendees and teachers.  Since I hadn’t known many of the dancers (or even how many were ultimately attending), it had been somewhat of a guess, even after so many revisions.  Did we have enough time for rehearsals?  Did we have enough options for non-performers?  Was the mix of classes sufficient?  There had been unending considerations.

So with that in mind, it doesn’t surprise me that the final schedule needs to change one more time.  With such a large percentage of the attendees opting to perform in the Alumni Dance Production (even more than I’d hoped!), many classes are no longer necessary.  It is something that I take note of – next time, our planning committee will consider the two very different tracks of attendees (those performing and those participating) when creating the schedule.

So that night, I rewrite the schedule and copy it onto bright pink paper.  After posting it at each dance studio and several other locations, I fall into bed.  The week is already halfway over…

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Thursday June 24th & Friday June 25th - Days 5 & 6

The days blur together in a whirlwind of rehearsals and technical preparation.  Lights begin to appear on the stage.  Costumes are finally worn.  Bangs are trimmed so that we can see dancers’ eyes.  Pieces are cleaned and characters become more defined. The choreography is becoming ingrained, and dancers are even starting to smile while performing. 

Above left, John Jordan and Suzanne Givens rehearse West Coast swing number

But the most exciting part is that the Reunion attendees are beginning to arrive on campus!  The energy is palpable.  The Concourse is full of cries of delighted friends reuniting after so many years.  The campus is abuzz with golf carts and strolling guests.  Even the Midwest heatwave retreats in honor of the occasion, and we delight in a welcome cool spell.

In an effort to make sure that Retreaters are able to attend a few of the main Reunion events, we have scheduled our first dress rehearsal on Friday afternoon. This way, Saturday morning will be our final dress rehearsal, and the curtain will go up on the final performance Saturday afternoon.

The dancers are tired, but, aware of the long night’s break ahead of them and inspired by the proximity of the official performance, they arrive at this dress rehearsal with considerable energy.  We sit down quickly for a shortened metaphysical, in consideration of the time constraints.  These metaphysicals have become effusive sessions of inspiration and uplifting gratitude.  As with all Principia Dance Productions, the bonds between the dancers are deep and strong.  It feels like we’re a family.

This afternoon’s dress rehearsal is a complete, fully-tech’d performance; the only aspects missing are a couple of video features that won’t be available until tomorrow morning.  Every dancer is in costume, waiting for their numbers in the wings or in the dressing rooms.  The music is run through the excellent sound system, rather than the boombox we’ve been using to rehearse all week.  The black velvet curtains are drawn and a somber hush fills the space.  And when the lights hit the stage, we realize that we are truly performing.

At right, Chrissie and Jim Brown in traditional folk dance costumes

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Saturday June 26th - Day 7

I wake up quietly.  It’s here, I think.  Today has finally arrived.  Over a year and a half of work ends tonight.  And then we start right back up again, I smile.

We have a very full day with two full-length performances ahead of us, and yet I’m already thinking about the Alumni Dance Retreat 2012.  Sometimes you just can’t turn off your thinker!

After sprinting around the campus copying the program and other important things, I arrive at the theatre for our final dress rehearsal.  This morning’s metaphysical is quiet and joyful.  We do a group warm-up and then everyone scurries to their dressing rooms to put on makeup, stretch a little more, or simply relax until their number.

A certain feeling pervades the air.  Any performer knows it well: one part nerves, two parts excitement, and another part delirious joy.  To perform is one of the greatest gifts on earth.

Finally, the lights fade out and the projector hums to life.  Videographer Mark Dearborn’s video montage of the Retreat begins playing on the screen, and a small tear wells up unexpectedly in my eye. 

The directors’ jobs are finished when the final dress rehearsal begins.  From here, the show is really in the hands of the cast and crew.  It’s a bit like sending your children off to college.  You’re delighted for them and confident that they will grow and flourish – but you will miss them and their struggles, more than you will ever let them know.

The open dress rehearsal runs almost perfectly, with the exception of one or two technical problems that don’t seem to bother the small house.  My co-directorshouts, “That’s why this is a dress rehearsal!” and the audience laughs appreciatively. She’s right, and the technical crew in the booth relaxes just a bit.  Soon enough, the issue is resolved and we continue on with the show.

At left, the final pose of "There's No Business Like Show Business" (from left, Hoffman, Paradis, Derville-Teer, Karsen, Jordan, Meggen Watt)

There are no notes after this run of the show, just a reminder to be back in time for our metaphysical meeting after lunch.  With most of us still wearing our makeup, off we head to eat.  (I confess that being in the “real world” with my makeup on between shows has always been my guilty pleasure as a performer.)

At right, Craig, Derville-Teer, and Hopkins backstage

Lunch is over in a heartbeat and I’m back “home” in the Blackbox.  I grab a spot of floor in the greenroom and wait for the rest of the dancers to arrive.  To my delight, several of the non-performing Retreaters have joined us as well.  After glancing at my watch a few times, I finally clear my throat and begin speaking.

“For this metaphysical, I don’t have any readings prepared.  Instead, I’d like to go around the circle and have each one of you share something you are grateful for from this week.  This is something we did every year I was a student in Dance Production, and I remember it being truly the most inspiring part of each year.”

One by one, each Retreater shares his or her thoughts on their experience this week.  By the time we get halfway around the circle, I’m trying very hard not to cry.  (I notice that I’m far from alone.)  There is an incredible freedom of expression among the dancers, due in no small part to the incredible bond among them.  Deeply personal and even emotional moments are met with support and smiles of understanding.  Sharings of incredible healings are accompanied by knowing nods.  The room is filled with an atmosphere of love and joy.

Thankfully, someone had the presence of mind to capture several of the comments shared.  Some of these I shared earlier.  Several others included:

• “[This Retreat] brought back my love for Principia.”
• “It was a trip for my soul as well as my body.”
• “The first thing you see when you come up to the gate is ‘Welcome Home’ and you really feel it.”
• “This is the place to have the support – to take the risks. I haven’t danced in ten years but this gave me a chance to take a risk.”
• “I’m going to take this away and I know it will bless my whole family.”
• “To be a part of a dance production at my age is so wonderful.”
• “There’s nothing like this: to have this support as Christian Scientists…to be in this spiritual experience.”
• “When I left Prin twenty years ago, I though my days of dancing at Prin were over.  I’m so grateful to have been here.”
• “This has been more than my heart can appreciate.”

By the time the circle gets back to me, I hardly look like the director/producer I’m supposed to be.  My face is streaked with tears of joy as I try to express my own feelings.   

 “As a recent graduate, to hear my friends say ‘This is the last time I’m going to get to dance’ broke my heart.  To hear you all is more gratifying than anything I’ve experienced all week.”

Just a few seconds before I let everyone go to finish preparing for the show, I look around the room.  Here we are, a group of dancers spanning over forty years ofPrincipia graduates, few of whom knew one another six days ago but most of whom are now dear friends. Here we are after hours of hard work, trials, and even a few temporary tribulations but with undimmed enthusiasm, joy, or energy.  Here we are, about to put on a show that a week ago was only a vague idea in a few ambitious heads but has unfolded into a beautiful gift for the Principia community.

Above, Hopkins, Hoffman, and Derville-Teer in the Concourse

It is the final moment of a beginning – the beginning of many more decades of the Principia Alumni Dancers dancing together one more time.

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Epilogue

The curtain of the Alumni Dance Production 2010 opened on a completely full house.  (In fact, many people unfortunately had to be turned away.)  Each dancer sparkled with unbridled passion, and the show was much appreciated by those attending. For the rest of the evening, no matter where you went on campus, someone was still talking about the performance of that afternoon!

Above right, final pose of "Amazing Grace" (from left, Hoffman, Jennifer Bondelid, Hopkins, Derville-Teer, Craig)

So, due to the tremendous response from participants and appreciators alike, planning has already begun for the next Alumni Dance Retreat and Production. 

In the meantime, we are delighted to announce that professional pictures of the Alumni Dance Production are available from Principia photographer Dana LePoidevan of LP Portraits.  Visit his website here (http://lpportraits.exposuremanager.com/g/reunion2010-dance) to peruse and order over 230 shots, available as digital downloads, prints, and memorabilia.

A DVD of the Alumni Dance Production is also available.  The first was filmed by Mark Dearborn and is purchasable by contacting Judy Dail in Media Services (email her at judy.dail@principia.edu; or call her at 618-374-5437).  DVDs cost $5 a piece, and there is no charge for shipping.  (The footage was shot from the back balcony.)

On a personal note, I thank all you wonderful readers for your patience these last two months.  I had high hopes of writing a little piece about the Retreat in the two days after I got home.  Life had its own ideas…

But hopefully this offered you a glimpse of what 30 or so brave alumni dancers ventured with us to try this summer – and we look forward to seeing YOU when we do this again!